Am I depressed? Is it just PMS? Is it grief? Is just an off day? Or is it perimenopause? Who the f8ck knows.
I saw this post on threads – women of a certain age the world over are asking themselves variations of this question every single day.
We are feeling so many things all at once and not really sure exactly which one it is. And for me, I have grief to add into the mix so it’s hard to tell some days if its just sadness, PMS, real depression, or do I just need to go for a walk.
The Problem
Although depression isn’t caused by menopause, studies show that about 20% of women have symptoms of depression during this time. WebMD
Another fun stat for us middle aged women to get excited about. Not only are we gaining weight, losing muscle, scratching our itchy ears but now we also stand a chance of possibly getting depressed! WTAF!
This is like the whole weight gain thing – the health professionals all say menopause (or perimenopause) does not cause weight gain but because xyz happens, you gain weight. In my little brain that leans heavily to the one thing causing the other, even if indirectly – but I mean what do I know, right? I am just a women living through this.
My biggest challenge with these changing emotions is that they are not consistent or constant. One day you feel like the sky is falling, the next day you are chasing rainbows, then you want to punch people in the face. It is like throwing that little ball into the roulette wheel, you never know what you are going to get.
The advice given is avoid processed foods, sugar and gluten, don’t drink, don’t smoke, avoid caffeine, get enough sleep, walk 10 000 steps, lift weights, spend time with friends, meditate, journal, be creative, stay off social media.
Sure, ok fine. Great. When exactly do I LIVE MY FREAKING LIFE! I would love to spend my days meditating while I walk to the top of the mountain and do a yoga flow while sipping my homemade kombucha and snacking on date balls. I mean who wouldn’t BUT I do kinda need a little bit of cash to buy the kombucha and dates and walking shoes. And my kids would like me to spend a little time with them, my husband too.
I hear you HRT peeps saying just take the meds man. Ok, fine, but then please find me a Dr I can trust, someone who will listen to me – actually listen and not just give me an antidepressant or make me feel like an hysterical women or give me a diet pill that’s going to make me want to throw up for 2 weeks. (If you think I am over exaggerating, ask your 40+ friends how often their Dr suggested they go on an antidepressant, you might find the answers pretty alarming.)
Not only does this game of emotional roulette wreak havoc on us as woman, it also impacts our families. I love my husband, we have a great relationship but there days where I just can’t handle being in the same room as him, everything he does is wrong (it’s not really, I am the problem). And my poor kids, if I am not snapping, I am sleeping or too down to leave the house. It is unfair to them all.
The Solution
In an attempt to try naturally manage this I started taking Lion’s Mane and Ashwagandha and I do feel they both help manage my moods and anxiety. (Please note neither of these are antidepressants and this is not medical advice, if you feel like you are really struggling, see your Dr.).
Walking also definitely helps me to get out of my own head a lot. While we were away I did walk but not consistently and not as far as I need to – my sweet spot right now is 5km – I know its not far but it gets my heart rate up nicely and depending where I walk pushes me a bit and I still enjoy it afterwards.
I like to think I have a fairly healthy diet – I do limit processed foods a lot, we eat quality fruit, veg and meat and I don’t have dairy or gluten and very little sugar and I try limit my caffeine intake. I do notice, though, when I let things slide I do definitely feel it both emotionally and physically. But I am in two minds about this – I am all for healthy living but you can really only give up so much stuff, you have to still have things in your diet that you enjoy and you definitely don’t want to obsess about what you are eating because that in itself will lead to depression.
If you are going through this emotional roulette that has you questioning your sanity, you are not alone. I don’t have a definitive solution but just know you are not alone!
