On Being Strong

Let me start this by saying, being strong is for the birds. I have zero interest in “being strong” but clearly the universe had other plans – so here we freaking well are.

I have a friend who is also knee deep in the grief over the loss of an adult child unexpectedly (although do you really ever expect to lose a child). Anyway we were messaging and she said that she is finding it hard to accept when people say how strong she is, because she doesn’t feel strong but then she realises she is getting up, getting dressed etc. She isn’t doing those things because she is strong!

We are strong and I HATE IT!

I am tired of having to deal with tough things because I am strong or because God doesn’t give you things you can’t handle.

I don’t want to be strong!

The problem, I am finding, when you do get up, get dressed, show up and keep going is people assume you are ok. They assume you can handle things. They assume you are strong but if I am honest, 98% of the time we do it because if we didn’t we may very well fall apart irreparably.

I don’t wake up and think “Ah let me get up, have a bath and do my workout because I am so strong”. I do it because if I don’t, if I stay in bed I may never get out and I have a family who needs me to get up and show up for them.

Maybe it is strength but this week I definitely feel anything but strong. This week things started falling apart a bit. This week getting up, getting dress and showing up felt next to impossible. This week I don’t want to be strong.

Being strong is for the birds!

“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on, it is going on when you don’t have the strength.” – Napoleon Bonaparte