I never wrote a Weekly Wisdoms update late week, we were traveling, I was very sad and trying to just be present in the moment. I have written about our 3 day road-trip home, it was very emotional for me but a really good trip that I am glad we made the time for.
We have been home for 5 days now and I desperate to escape back to the dam, to the calm and quite that exists there but it is good to be back with my dogs and my friends.
Glimmers
(Glimmers are micro-moments of joy that make us feel happy, hopeful, and safe.)
- We had such a fun road trip home. We discovered places we haven’t seen before, revisited a few spots we have been to before. The sights were amazing, the calm healing.
- My neighbour had dinner prepared for us when we arrived home and had packed away the fruit and veg I had ordered.
- Eve and I had a catch up coffee date, it was so good to just download everything, without judgement.
- Jack joined rock climbing. He is very excited about this new adventure and I am excited to see where it takes him.
- It was so good to be back with the dogs – even if they steal my spot every night.
- It was also good to get back to our routine, especially with food. While we didn’t really over do it while away, I missed our local fruit and veg and our chicken lady.
My Weekly Wisdom..
The home and the family.
And the children and the food.
The friendships.
The work.
The work of the world.
And the work of being human.
The memories.
And the troubles and the sorrows
and the triumphs.
And the love. Maira Kalman
I heard this quote for the first time a few days ago on Criminal Minds. It was in relation to grief and the mother having to hold it together. It answers the question “What do woman hold?”
I felt this. I feel it every single day. The weight of holding it all together. Especially now. The weight of holding the family, the children, the food, the work, the sorrow, the memories – it is a lot and when you through grief into the mix it becomes an almost impossible task.
It felt like I was getting used to the weight of it all but recently more has been piled on and I am struggling. Struggling to hold it together for everyone else – the family, the children, the work, the friendships, the world.
I know it will get easier as time goes by and I get used to the weight but it is taking a while because I really just don’t want to have to hold it together for everyone. I don’t want that responsibility. But here we are.
Picture of the Week
I have decided to change this section up and add in my favourite photo of the week. Elephants are my favourite animal. I never tire of spending time with them. We found a few while driving through Addo and it was just what my soul needed.
Wise Words of the Week
Words of the Week
I am joining up with the Word of the Week link party this week so my word for the week would have to be THINKING. I have been doing a lot of thinking this week – about Cameron and why it happened, about my friendships and the support I have, about family, about what I want for my future. I am a little too much in my own head right now, I see it, I feel it but also know that fighting this will just make it worse, so I am leaning in and trusting the process.
Until next week!
What a thought provoking quote. It’s so true, but I would also add that we hold the vision, hope and dreams too. I love the photo of the elephant. I’ve only seen them in zoos. It must be wonderful to happen upon them as you are driving. Hope Jack continues to enjoy rock climbing. My eldest used to climb and she made some amazing friends through it. I bet the dogs gave you the most amazing greeting when you got home.
It sounds like a road trip home was just what you needed. Your photos are stunning, you live in such a beautiful part of the world, thank you for sharing it.
I’m sorry to hear that grief is hanging extra heavily at the moment; holding it all together must be exhausting.
Those little glimmers are even more important when you feel like that.
It sounds like a good road trip, it’s great to discover new places and how nice that your neighbour had dinner prepared for you when you returned home.
So sorry you are struggling at the moment, sending love and hugs!
How amazing to see the elephants! x
I love the elephant photo, how amazing. We only have them in zoos over here, and it’s often hard to even catch a glimpse. I’m sorry the grief is weighing heavy on you, it’s so hard keeping it together for everyone else, but we are all allowed to break a little sometimes. Then you pick yourself up. There is no shame in vulnerability, take care of yourself.
I’m glad you enjoyed your road trip home and how lovely that your neighbour had dinner prepared for you. Hope Jake enjoys the new adventures with rock climbing. That’s a beautiful quote about the things women hold. It does all feel incredibly heavy sometimes though and when you add grief into the mix it often feels unbearably heavy. I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling to carry it at the moment. You will have times when it feels lighter but that doesn’t necessarily help when it is all feeling too heavy. That’s a beautiful photo of the elephant. Having time to think is important – even if the things you are thinking about are painful ones. One of the things I’ve learned about grief is that it is often easier to manage if you allow it space rather than fighting it so it’s good that you are feeling able to trust the process at the moment. Sending much love your way and hope that things feel a little easier again soon x #WotW
I am so sorry you are grieving. It is truly one of the worst experiences humans can suffer. You are wise not to fight it. It will have its say anyway. Sounds like a lovely trip. The photo of the elephant is amazing.
Beautiful photos on your road trip home. How amazing to have got a pic of an elephant!
Your doggies are adorable!
I’m so sorry you are struggling. I hope you find some comfort in between the waves of grief. Sending big hugs to you. x
Your photos are amazing! Love the elephant picture. I am sorry you are struggling at the moment, trying to keep everything together for everyone else is hard. Take time for you and has everyone else has said don’t fight it. Take care