Have you heard about WE DO NOT CARE club? It started on TikTok/Instagram by a lady named Melani. She is very funny but the comments are also pretty great. While I was scrolling the comments this post below, I saw this one about driving and I have never felt so seen.
Saphron said “Can I ask is anyone else nervous of driving? Since I have been perimenopausal I find driving scary. I’ve always been a confident driver but now I am just not.”
I can’t find the original post but there are so many comments agreeing with her!
On Friday, I had to drive Emma to her karate competition. We had to leave at 5h30 in the morning and drive for almost an hour into an area that is not great. If I wasn’t already taking daily ashwaghanda to calm my nerves, I might very well have downed the entire bottle. Despite being fueled by the herbs of the gods – I was still beyond stressed out. It was freezing cold when we left but I arrived at our destination sweating (and no, it was not a hot flush, it was a stress sweat.) This whole debacle was not over – when were done I had to drive 40 minutes across town to take the car back to David’s cousin. He then had to drive us home – almost an hour in PEAK traffic.
By the time I got home I was DONE! I was so stressed out. BY DRIVING! How bizarre!
I got license when I was 18 – so almost 30 years ago. I have been driving for almost 30 years – I know how to drive. I used to work in game lodges and would drive far distances, on my own, in remote areas. I even once came face to trunk with a male elephant in must and had to reverse on a dirt road, around a corner to escape. When I moved home after my divorce I was working in Joburg and living in Pretoria, I drove twice a day in peak traffic, often in the pitch dark. And a few times my little car broke down on the highway. I have driven with the kids, on my own, down to Cape Town. I have done a 4×4 off road course and I have driven a game drive vehicle.
I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. I can drive. I have driven many many kilometers.
But suddenly I would rather listen to a Joe Rogan podcast with Elon Musk than get in the car and drive anywhere! It is not because I can’t, it is because it suddenly fills me with an almost paralyzing fear. I can’t actually tell you what I am scare of – I am not sure. I am just nervous all the time when I am in the car. The best part is, it’s not just when I am driving – its when I am in a car!
When my husband drives, it feels like he speeds up to the car in front, then slams on brakes or he weaves through traffic like he is fighting for a podium position in a Formula 1 race. Obviously he is doing none of this. Its me, I am the problem so I spend a lot of time with my eyes closed.
Could this possibly be a perimenopause symptom and if so WHY? What the actual f8ck is this?
I have done no research into this, I have not even asked AI for it’s thoughts. I trust the women who commented on that post as my evidence-based research. Their truth is enough for me to know this sudden fear of driving IS a legit thing that happens to women.
Have you experienced this?
If you are feeling gaslit by perimenopause – check out the We Do Not Care Club movement.
Oh that is so bizarre and yet it is a real thing. I feel like there are so many more perimenopausal symptoms than anyone ever thought… or talked about! And I love that they’re all getting talked about more. I did Google it and TONS of articles and things came up– why this happens, how to combat it, other people’s experiences, etc. I hope it’s fairly short lived for you.
Oh wow. To be honest I havent actually googled it yet but I am going to now!
Ha! I have seen Melani on TikTok. Since I am thankfully past menopause, I haven’t spent much time there, but she is definitely a hoot. As someone whose nervous system has always been turned up to 11 (I take two meds for anxiety), it sounds like this is what you are experiencing when you get in the car. Hopefully, when your hormones calm down, and your body adjusts to the new normal, this will stop.