8 Things I Know for Sure in My 40’s

You are not getting older, you are gathering speed, and power, and wisdom. It is an honour and a privilege to be here, on this mountain of knowledge, on this horizon of possibility. I feel more powerful and capable now than I have at any other time in my life. Jan Arden

While I am not sure if I am gathering speed, I do feel like I am gathering wisdom and with that comes a certain power which does make me feel more capable and able to tackle the things I have always wanted to.

Things I Know for Sure

Life is constantly changing and I am constantly learning new things but these are the things I know for sure.

You have the time to do the things you enjoy. Years ago I listened to a TedTalk that was doing the rounds about time. The speaker, Laura Vanderkamp, said that we do have the time for the things we prioritise because we make the time. She goes on to talk about how we can “build the lives we want in the time we’ve got.” I have the time to write, scrapbook, create with my Cricut, coffee with my friends because I make the time because these things make me happy. I used to feel bad about doing these things, I don’t anymore. I do them now regularly and guilt-free.

Meal prepping is always worth it. Always. When I make the time to prepare meals to freeze, the week always runs so much smoother and I feel less stressed.

It is ok to put your phone on silent and say no. This one took me a while but when I burnout a few years ago I had to make drastic changes in how I manage my stress and setting boundaries has been invaluable. It can actually be very liberating knowing that you are making YOU a priority.

All you need is one really close friend. I don’t make friends easily and it took me 30 years to find a bff. I have always felt there was something wrong with me because those around me had large groups of friends they did stuff with. The FOMO was real. I have learnt that it is ok to have one (or two) close friends because those people become an integral part of your life, not just people you can party with but people you can truly count on.

I like my husband. So often we see people moaning about their partners and their relationship. Once the kids leave people drift apart or realise they don’t really like each other. I know for sure that I like my husband – a lot. We have been through some tough stuff but we have worked through it and are stronger for it. I can not wait for it to be just us.

Your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Social media creates so many narratives that often make us feel bad. If you are a business owner, the goal has to be 6+ figures. If you work in corporate you should be smashing glass ceilings. You should be traveling. You should be hiking and running and buying Stanley’s that you can’t afford. I have often measured my success to what I see online but I now know that my journey is mine and mine alone. I don’t want to build an empire, I definitely don’t want to smash any ceilings and traveling makes me anxious. I am following where my path leads and I am loving the journey because it is mine.

Yoga is good for my body and soul. Like many of us I have a love/hate relationship with exercise. Yoga has been the one constant for decades. Getting on my mat every morning helps me to manage my anxiety, calm my mind and move my body. When I don’t prioritize my daily flows, my body and mind feel it. I recently met a 90 year old woman who was still doing her warriors daily!

You don’t need as much as you think you do. I have been on a journey of simplifying our lives while trying to also make them more sustainable. I have spent many years decluttering our home – 4 kids, homeschooling, working from home have resulted in a lot of stuff! Our home has become lighter and more manageable. We are also more aware now of how what we bring into our home. Do we really need a pasta maker and a instapot and a waffle maker and something to fill that empty space in the lounge? More often than not we want it more than we need it. This is not to be confused with buying this that bring you real joy. I will spend good money on a pretty plant pot or vinyl for my Cricut or a new Me&B dress. These things make me happy and will be used.

I would love to hear some of the things you know for sure.