I have, so far, raised two teenagers and I can say that it was, without question my favourite season. Maybe I got lucky or maybe the whole narrative about teens being horrible is just wrong.
I am not saying my teens were perfect and their teen years where without incident. There was that one time Cameron stole our mini bus and ended up breaking the side mirror – driving a mini bus is NOT the same as driving a car. Every time he went to his friends for a “sleep over” we knew they were going out.
Kiara told me, the first year we homeschooled, that she was up to date. She was not and we ended up doing her entire Grade 10 year in 3 weeks.
There was a little attitude here and there from them both but overall those 5 years as teens were the best. It was fun watching them grow into young adults and have thoughts and opinions. We had many debates and discussions about so many different things from the #feesmustfall movement to marriage, LGBTQ rights and everything in between.
They still did so much with as a family and very seldom said no to events and outings we went on. We had great family holidays together and they were both engaged with their siblings, even with the large age gap.
I think this is where parents get it a bit wrong sometimes. Our role as parents is not to raise children who think and act like us but rather to give them the space to become who they want to be – even if that means they disagree with us or follow a different path than the one we wanted for them.
When you try get your child (of any age) to confirm and be what you want them to be, there is going to be push back because they are being forced into a box they don’t want to go into. It is normal for them to want to explore different things and try new subjects, sports, experiences – some of them will work and others won’t. Those are their mistakes to make.
There also needs to be an understand the hormonal and emotional changes kids go through during this stage of their life. When you understand that your teen boy is going through huge hormonal changes at 15, you can navigate it better. Any women out there understands that you can’t reason with hormones, you have to just navigate them as best you can.
Despite all of that, I loved raising teens and we are 2 years in with Jack now and I still feel the same way.
If you go into it expecting the worst, you probably are going to get it. But if you go into excited to be a part of this season of your child’s life, you might actually both enjoy it.
I have LOVED the teen years so much; we haven’t had any real problems with our kids either and I don’t know if we just got lucky or what but I am so glad these years I was dreading were so much fun. Luckily the young adult years have been pretty great so far too.
What a refreshing take on raising teenagers, Laura! 🌟 It’s great to hear how you’ve enjoyed the ups and downs of this time. Your point about letting teens find their own path is so important. It sounds like you’ve built a supportive space for open conversations! 😊 Wishing you more fun moments with your family! 🥳💖