Empty Nest : My Thoughts

We are fast approaching an empty nest. My oldest two moved out over 3 years ago, which left just the younger two still at home. I know many people dread this stage of life but I am very much looking forward to it.

Disclaimer: I am in no way wishing my kids would leave the house. After loosing Cameron I am very aware of just how important it is to be intentional about the quality of the time I spend with my children.

Lets talk about it

David and I met, had baby #3 and very quickly, within a space of a year we had gone from strangers in a pub to getting a positive pregnancy test. I already had Cameron and Kiara, so while we did have a lot of time alone, it was never just the two of us – we were instantly a family of 4.

Jack arrived and then Emma arrived 3 years later. We became a family of 6 quickly and anyone who knows anything about kids, know that our lives also become chaotic very quickly. Our attention was constantly divided and David and I were perpetually tired. There was very little time for date night, even though we did our best to prioritise our relationship, there was a multitude of things (and people) vying for our time. It was a crazy, chaotic, messy time of our lives. Looking back I am often confused by how we coped and managed to stay sane.

When Kiara left to Cape Town, we went back to a family of four and it is so lovely now to have this time with the younger two. We can do a lot more and we get to have some real quality time with them. They are older which means life is overall calmer which has allowed David and I to do a lot more as a couple, which has strengthened our relationship and made me more excited for when it is just the two of us.

Of course I will miss them all when they are not living with us, I miss Kiara (and Cameron) every day but I don’t dread them leaving. I am not guilting them into staying local if they want to study/travel in a new city or even a country, we will support and encourage them. It is, after all, an exciting time for them, they get to spread their wings and start following their own path. Watching Kiara find her way has been such an adventure, I can’t wait to see where her journey leads and I am excited to watch as Jack and Emma find their way. It is what we, as parents, are preparing them for, isn’t it.

What I am even more excited for though, is the time I will have with David.

I am eagerly anticipating a time when it is just us in our home. 

A time when we can come and go without considering kids schedules and activities.

A time when we can stay in bed all weekend without someone wanting something or needing to go somewhere.

A time where we can impulsively decide to go away for the weekend.

I love being a mother and I love watching my children grow and being with them is one of my favourite things to do. Spending time with my husband though, is also one of my favourite things and I want to do more of it!

I am not worried we won’t have anything to talk about.

I am not worried that we will get bored.

I am not worried I won’t like him. We have such fun together and have been on so many adventures both with and without the kids, I can’t wait to be able to do that every day. 

The narrative around the empty nest is that you and your partner won’t have anything to say to one another and you will be so distraught because your children have left. I don’t think either of these things are how many people feel. Sure, I think there is an adjustment period of learning who you are without your children but isn’t that exciting? Is it an exciting thought to rediscover or discover things that make you happy? Isn’t it exciting to rediscover your partner?

I think it is incredibly exciting. I can’t wait.